SIX
Written 5th December 2024
I’ve always known id be happier once my mum was dead. I knew being away, she’d still pursue me. I just want her to feel perish in her sleep because im not looking for revenge I’m looking for peace and freedom. I don’t have that while she’s still walking and talking. Actually once she’s older and can’t really get around that’ll be fine. So let’s hope her hip is like broken or something and she really can’t dance again like she was dramatically pronouncing as a possibility months ago (that she made seem was an actuality because she’s a dumb bitch who won’t eat more than grass and chickpeas and snacks,snacks,snacks yet is still fat and hates herself for being fat but won’t stop being fat even though she knows what to do and has done it before) (I wonder if she’s even considered it’s her evil nature that she tries to surpress that makes her fat? We do eat our feelings, I know that personally. I think she eats her rage towards herself. She loathes herself but for the wrong reasons. The inside is the problem not the outside you obese cunt).
I have my own rage that I’ve eaten. It’s my rage towards life. Being alive. Being alive in her presence. Mad as fuck that she’s my “mother”. I still believe it was an error. I bet she stole me, the devilish witch. I am rageful now because it took so long to be free and I’m not receiving the support for this absolutely traumatic situation but I’m at least mostly free from that whore.
It’s so funny; you have a husband, you’re still fucking my dad and you have two other boyfriends yet you genuinely were upset and horrified when you were exposed as a cheater and took that rage out on your now husbands kids. Teens. You used Krystal’s toothbrush to clean the dirty toilet. You should and will burn in hell.
Why do you hate yourself so much? You’ve told me about when you were younger and felt fat - but you weren’t. Your self loathing is so innate. Why did you continue to go to the barbershop after the au pairs white self felt that was the only right solution on ONE OCCASION? It was an error of judgement in the 60’s and that dumb bitch was white! You carried on until your late teens! You did it to yourself! Why?!
You got mad at the Grand High when she told the story about when Stephan (you wait until I get into that psychopath) was born and you were so jealous you put her in the washing machine. The grand high laughed but you were so upset. Is it because it exposes your innate nature? Why are you this way? I don’t care, but for the sake of your soul maybe find out. Both of your kids hate you! Get a clue.
You never learn: not even after you couldn’t go on the cycling trip because your devil nature was exposed and you were disallowed. You’ve just gotten angrier and angrier and I hope your heart fails because of it so we can all get a break. You’re a cancer to this earth. And Errol should have died of cancer. It’s a tragedy he didn’t. I was so fucking excited.